Madness

This is a graduate school-era rant, plain and simple. It’s wild, messy, pissed off, but there’s a lot of truth in it.

Giving in to madness can be so liberating. Everybody else has embraced madness, evil, suffering or apathy/ignorance.

The good people are either crazy or shallow. The bad people are, well, bad. Why struggle to be normal, to fit the hypocritical demands of decency, convention, social mores? Why should there be any rules for behavior when they all get broken? Try to be normal for the benefit of other people, and you'll be crushed when they turn out to be loony as a cartoon or evil as hell itself, or both.

Why suffer from trying to be a functioning member of society while getting lied to, stolen from, beaten on, kicked out, heart broken, told off, ripped off, laid off. Choose goodness, choose to suffer.

Choose madness; secret yourself from the hoard and practice private insanity: Cut out photos of celebrities in magazines and paste them on a wall. Fantasize of demonic power and lust. Stay up all night reading and watching porno books and videos and masturbating. Spend your waking hours cleaning and straightening every last inch of your home. Fill your home with the products of nonstop shopping sprees. Talk to yourself until someone answers. Listen for hours to harsh rock music blasting through headphones.

The ways one can capitulate to madness without losing a job, going to jail or being committed are many. The ones that could exact those penalties are endless. In a capitalist society, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you give the system your wages and labor. So keep your job, pay your bills and stay to yourself, and you can indulge your craziness without restriction.

Plot murders in journals. Buy Barbie dolls and behead them. Paint your entire bedroom black. The hell with everyone else and their idiosyncrasies; you've got your own, so act them out.